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05 December 2010 @ 07:53 am
I got better*  
So Dicebox got a write up on io9 yesterday, which was a completely delightful shock. It is a great review with the added bonus that the reviewer, Lauren Davis, picking up on those aspects most important to me, making me feel that I did my job as a storyteller. So I am a little ashamed that my first reaction was my, uh, dissatisfaction with the art of the sample pages she chose.

From a story angle, her selections are very rewarding. And understand that as I've been going through the rewriting and tweaking process on Book 1, I've gotten kinder towards my old art, finding most of it acceptable. (Do I still want to redraw everything? Yeah, but I wanna finish Dicebox even more and move on to the other stories rattling around my brain)

Of the seven examples chosen for the review, only one will stand as is. And two more will need only minor tweaks. But of the other four, one will be reincorporated into a rewrite of the scene and so redrawn, one needs everyone to get back on model, one is slated for a serious makeover and one has already been redrawn and recolored though not uploaded as I need to tweak the following pages to have it integrate.

But I'm actually not here to whine and moan about that. Heck, it tells me that I chose correctly on what some of the keys pages are. I'm here to show and go through why I chose to redo a page that contains a panel that is used over and over again as a positive example of the art of Dicebox. That being page 10 of Part 5, "Blood from a Stone."




(click a thumbnail for a larger view in new window)


On the left is the original page art, on the right, the revision.

I was never satisfied with the feel of this page, specifically I wanted more of a sense that the characters are in and surrounded by the space and for the plains they are walking across to be a significant presence. So I took the opportunity of being invited to a group show to rework this page, exploring how I could make it really work the way I wanted it to. Which is my criteria for the other couple of pages I plan to revamp, i.e. that they are somehow key pages and there is something I can learn in the redoing. After all, I always intended Book 1 as my journeyman project, what I would use to learn the craft of a cartoonist.

First thing I decided to do was make the first panel a background flood image to allow it to be an environment to the characters and the other panels. To aid this, I felt some indication of foreground was called for and so moved up the second panel to reveal some of it. This had the added bonus of suggesting motion between it and the next panel. Lastly, I decided to let the Griffen in the last panel break the frame for continued integration with both the background and the first rear view of her. Also as a mood break to accompany her comment.

And you probably notice the updating of the color palette and the increase of contrast, all things that I need to apply to the rest of this scene before I will upload this revision. Because, as happy as I am with the redo, I would find the disconnect too jarring and so be doing myself no favors.

*The title for this post comes from a response I made to Kevin Moore when he called me on my propensity to redo the same pages over and over again. He and many of my other friends are forever trying to break me of this filthy habit.
 
 
 
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )
rivenwanderer on December 5th, 2010 05:20 pm (UTC)
The new version is so awesome! But my brain keeps insisting that the figure on the left (in the large/background panel) has had their feet disconnected and placed about 1" to the left of their torso. Am I just confused?
dicebox on December 5th, 2010 05:25 pm (UTC)
It's correct, but lacking the additional reference to "ground" the limb to the figure, so, yeah, it has a dislocated feel. I think I can fix that pretty simply and will do so.

Thanks for the feedback, always helpful!
shweta_narayan on December 5th, 2010 09:51 pm (UTC)
This is wonderful. Thank you for sharing your changes & analysis!
dicebox on December 6th, 2010 01:11 am (UTC)
Always happy to share the method of my madness!
Jayson Alan Grigsby on January 28th, 2011 03:43 pm (UTC)
That's one of my favorite images of Griffen, in that last panel.

Also, the best simultaneously mundane and poetic use of a space elevator.
( 5 comments — Leave a comment )